I woke up one morning and the first thing that I felt was…DISCOURAGEMENT! Yes, discouragement. That dragging, cynical, nothing-is-ever-to-work state of mind, where you start wondering why you are even trying.
I’m sure you’ve also woken up discouraged. And then, what did you do? Probably you soldiered on: smiling when people asked how you were, trudging ahead with the expected, all the while feeling that you must be the only one who has voices in your head saying you’re doomed, its just a matter of time, the sky is falling NOW.
I want to share you this inspiring article about dealing with discouragement, which begins by reminding you of this: You’re not the only one who gets discouraged. Especially when you are trying to make some changes in your life, discouragement seems to be a part of the process.
You’ll have good days, you’ll have bad.. You’ll have confidence, you’ll have doubts.. Part of becoming who we are involves encountering new adventures. While we hope they’re always peak experiences, our growth and discovery come from the downsides too.
Life is full of failures, rejection, and more than just a fair share of discouragement. And while some people can immediately brush themselves off, others can enter a negative cycle of thoughts that persists for weeks, months or even years.
So, drawing from my own day of discouragement, I thought I’d share with you some helpful tips on how to overcome discouragement.
Step One: Basic Truth – Discouragement is a state of mind!
Listen to your mind. Has your life really changed that differently from two days ago when you were feeling positive, anticipating that things would work out, and having a good day? Probably not. You may just be tired, needing support, or had small setback, and that is triggering your negative mind talk.
Step Two: Allow yourself to be discouraged.
Our natural tendency when we’re feeling bad is to deny the feeling, or to make it go away immediately. But it’s important to acknowledge your feelings. You’re human! You have ups and downs, good days and bad days, and you really shouldn’t try to be a robot. If you have to cry, then do it. If you want to slam some pans around, or yell in the shower, do it. Recognize your feeling, so you can truly move past it, not make it go away and have it pop up inconveniently later in the day.
Step Three: Lower your expectations temporarily.
Are you setting unreasonable demands on yourself by setting the bar too high? Do you expect much from your lover or friend? Or feel that the world is exerting pressure on you? You might be a perfectionist. While I admit that I’m sort of a perfectionist person (belief that no matter what you attempt, it is never “good enough” to meet your own or others expectation), I’ve come to realize that it’s not a healthy pursuit of excellence. So to overcome it, I selected realistic people who are not perfectionist in their own life and become realistic with what I can do. Likewise, I concentrated on being more objective about criticisms and about myself. And if someone criticizes me for making a mistake, I acknowledge the mistake and assert my right to make mistakes.
Step Four: Change-up your routine.
This one may sound silly to you but it works. Deliberately do things throughout the day that are different from your usual actions. Discouragement is usually accompanied by the thought “This is never going to an end, this is never going to change.” So change your day to show your mind that it’s wrong, even if it’s a small start.
Step Five: Get Active.
The feeling of discouragement usually slows you down physically. You may feel like doing nothing. Sometimes, what you need is rest, and that will pull you out of your slump. But if you rested and you still feel bad, then take some action. Take a walk, go to the gym, and get your energy going.
Step Six: Get some help and support.
Consider some new ways to be supported. It’s time to stop doing it alone. There’s usually more than one solution to a problem. When you fell discouraged, it’s often because you keep trying the same solution, instead of changing things up.
Step Seven: Apply your spiritual practice.
Do you believe in prayer? Ask for help. Have you been learning to meditate? Sit down, relax and do it! Use that practice.
Step Eight: Remember, tomorrow is another day!
Sometimes, the best thing to do is to wait and see what tomorrow brings. Take one step today, have a good dinner, some time with friends, a good night sleep, and often you will then have new energy to bring your challenge the next day.
" Men's best successes come after their disappointments." - Henry Ward Beecher.
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